Mesh tank tops…need I say more? Apparently at one point in time, a man (I’m assuming one with a very blonde mustache and mullet) said to himself, “DAMNIT THIS TANK TOP IS JUST TOO DAMN HEAVY!” and then he proceeded to rifle it with bird shot until this miracle was born:
For those of you toying with the idea of wearing a mesh tank top this summer, please review the figures below, all of which were inspired by a recent trip to Cedar Point in beautiful (read: dystopian) Sandusky, Ohio. FUN FACT: Sandusky, Ohio was named after Penn State’s former assistant football coach, Gerald Arthur Sandusky, and appropriately so!
Figure 1: Comfort Level by Mesh Tank Top Wearing/Seeing Status, all years ever
(0% = absolute discomfort, 100% = absolute comfort)
Figure 2: Comfort Level for Mesh Tank Top Wearers/Seers by Distance from One Another
Figure 3: Intersection of People Who Wear Mesh Tank Tops and People Who Should Not